How does this work? Each newsletter you’ll see one reader’s answer to the previous week’s question. Then you’ll see the question they have for the list, which you can respond to if you’d like. Or you can just read and enjoy.
Previous ask:
What's a compliment you get often that, based on what you know about yourself, is hard for you to believe is true?
Sean answers:
Among my friends and acquaintances, I have a reputation of being "nice" and "easy going." I know I've heard this compliment in various forms over the course of my life. I don't think that I'm mean-spirited or especially stubborn. However, I think people misunderstand my niceness and amenability as some essential thing about me. I don't think that's the case. I think that the driving force is actually a desire for people to like me.
Years ago an acquaintance made a great observation about me which gets to the heart of this. He said "Sean isn't really that nice. He just smiles while he says mean things so you think he's joking." I was not offended. If anything, I was sort of relieved to have someone else say that so clearly. It was a revelation. He so clearly and simply dismantled this story I tell about myself.
At least with him I didn't have to try to be liked anymore. He liked me even though I could say unkind things about people we both knew.
Sean asks:
What was the most difficult forgiveness you granted someone?
If you’d like to answer this question, you can simply hit reply to this email and write it in. Be sure to also include a question that you’d like to submit next. And tell us a story — your answer will be the bulk of the next newsletter. We will only use your first name, but if you wish to answer anonymously, let us know.